How to use gay sex toys
“E-commerce is where the big boom is happening. An increasing number of toys are now becoming non-gender specific, which means more men feel comfortable exploring sex toys themselves,” she says. “The market is expanding with innovation at its forefront. The internet has also provided a safe place to browse and buy. There is a definite shift happening within the market, and male sex toys sales are on the up. If you don’t get off on your own, there must be something wrong with you sexually.”
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Hodgson adds: “There is also a persistent belief in our society that ‘real’ men don’t need aids. This has put off heterosexual men, who believe they might have a gay inclination if they try them out,” she explains. As a result, a lot of sex toys are pitched at gay men. “There was a stigma around their sexuality, so they’ve had to fight for sexual liberation and were able to experiment.
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According to Nichi Hodgson, sex expert, ex-dominatrix and Ooh by Je Joue brand ambassador, gay men have historically been free to experiment sexually as a marginalised group. The reason male sex toys are linked to gay culture is also down to the adult toy companies. So there’s a still a real fear of being laughed at and ridiculed,” he says. This misconception that enjoying anal stimulation affects your sexuality is ridiculous. “I once drunkenly told some of my guy friends about experimenting with sex toys and they instantly mocked me, telling me I must be gay. There is also a fear around heterosexual men being branded gay if they admit to using prostate stimulators.
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“Sex toys are pitched at gay men which has put off heterosexual men, who believe they might have a gay inclination if they try them out” Hugely popular retailers like Ann Summers and Lovehoney also prove that there isn’t much of a taboo around them anymore,” he says. “Most of my female friends own some type of sex toy, and will happily talk about their experiences. Joseph felt that even though his female friends were able to freely discuss their sex toy use among friends, he couldn’t do the same. While he had been curious about sex toys since his late teens, he didn’t buy his first sex toy, a prostate massager, until he was in his early twenties. One man who recognises this sense of secrecy surrounding his sex toy use is 25-year-old Joseph*. This discrepancy proves that a large number of heterosexual men do not feel comfortable using sex toys – or are simply too ashamed to confess.
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Whether it’s flesh lights, butt plugs or suction pumps, there is still a persistent air of unease around male masturbatory aids.Ī 2014 British sex survey by the Guardian showed that women are significantly more likely than men to have used sex toys (52 per cent and 39 per cent respectively), while homosexuals (66 per cent) are more likely to have used sex aids than heterosexuals (44 per cent). While it’s generally acceptable for women to own a plethora of vibrators, dildos and other toys to get themselves off, for men it seems to be a completely different story.